Love plants… but they don’t love you back? You’re not alone.

The Green Dumb Guide to Houseplants is the ultimate no-pressure handbook for anyone who wants greenery in their space without accidentally committing plant murder. Written for the greenery-inept, the overwhelmed, and the commitment-phobic, this book proves that plant care doesn’t have to be complicated—or intimidating.

Every plant featured has two things in common: easy to find and hard to kill. From low-effort classics to nearly indestructible favorites, this guide breaks things down with humor, honesty, and realistic expectations. No shaming. No jargon. No pretending you’ll suddenly become a “plant person.”

Along the way, you’ll find practical advice, clear dos and don’ts, and encouragement tailored to all budgets, light levels, and attention spans. And if all else fails? There’s even a bonus section on choosing plastic plants—because shade can come from anywhere.

What’s inside:
45 houseplant profiles that are beginner-friendly and resilient
Plants grouped by difficulty: Practically Plastic, Chill, Fussy, and Master Gardener (only one!)
Straightforward plant care basics—no prior knowledge required
Humor-packed advice for real life and real homes
Bonus section on when to just embrace faux plants
216 pages

Perfect for:
Anyone who has ever killed a houseplant (or several)
New plant parents and first-time apartment dwellers
DIY decorators and cozy-home enthusiasts
Grads, newlyweds, hosts, and housewarming gifts
Pairing with an actual plant for a foolproof gift
Because everyone deserves plants—even the “green dumb.”