This just in.

This hilarious birthday card from Sleazy Greetings delivers the news no one wants to hear, straight from a very familiar-looking news desk:

“Breaking News: You’re old. More at 11.”

Featuring a retro-inspired illustration of a mustached news anchor and a birthday cake graphic, this card is perfect for anyone who appreciates dry humor, pop culture references, and brutally honest birthday reporting.

• Blank inside for your own breaking commentary
• 5" x 7" folded card
• Printed on thick, durable cardstock
• Includes kraft envelope

Ideal for birthdays, milestone ages, or friends who can handle the truth.